Anacond 3: The Offspring - Thoughts

Much against the advice of my friends I decided to watch Anaconda 3 – The Offspring, a direct to video release. Direct to video movies typically are sequels to big name movies, and are made with lower budgets, featuring B grade or C grade amateur actors. The only way to get your hands on these movies is to buy or rent the DVD; they don’t get screened at the theatres. General opinion is that they are cheesy and worthless, but from time to time there are a few decent ones. In The Offspring, a pharmaceutical firm owned by a billionaire with a personal agenda, is on the verge of a medical breakthrough. If successful they will possibly find a cure to many terminal illnesses including cancer. Their means though is questionable, with their key research being based on a giant drug modified Anaconda.


Though the movie was just a mere 91 minutes in length it was an excessive drag. Pretty much all the suspense scenes were boring, and lacked punch. I found myself checking for text messages on my mobile phone. Action sequences were weak, with fast shot changes and jerky editing. It was hard to tell what was happening, and there was very poor focus on individual scene content. Sound again was poorly used, and during action sequences the viewer was left feeling lost. Expect a lot of gore and dismembered bodies, but nothing well executed. What worked were the locations and some of the long shots; such as the opening forest overview scene and closing dusk skyline scene. Equipment used was above average and the look and feel of the shots were good. What made an already weak plot sink altogether was miserable visual effects. The Anaconda looked ridiculous and was laughable. Considering the movie is built around the Anaconda, it feel flat primarily owing to this.

Performances were again weak. The only performance worth mentioning was that of David Hasselhoff. He handled the role of Hammett the mercenary for hire with a cool swagger that made it believable. Crystal Allen who was playing the lead role in the movie was average, though noticeably amateurish. One of her key contributions to the movie was to prance through the entire movie in her white racer back top. This duty she fulfilled convincingly. Most other performances were quite obviously stereotyped and unrealistic.

I watched a high bitrate DivX rip with AC3 Dolby Digital 5.1 sound intact and untouched. Picture was clear and good; with the expected loss of color vibrancy owing to lossy DivX video compression. I’d expect the DVD to be quite good. This I’m assuming is thanks to modern cameras and movie equipment. Being a made for TV, direct to video release the aspect ratio perfectly fit widescreen 16:9 home television sets. Though the soundtrack was a 5.1 surround, coupled with the messy action sequences it made very little sense. So in short there was no perceivable benefit to the surround stage usage.

My Recommendation: Skip It (you’re better off watching reruns of the first installment, but don’t bother with this one)